"Somniphobia," Spring 2021
Contributions:
Responsible for all parts
"Somniphobia" is the irrational fear of falling asleep. Although sleep for most is a respite, for others it can induce anxiety. Fear that one might not wake up -- fear of being consumed by nightmares -- fear of being trapped in one's own body, through sleep paralysis... these are all fears I've experienced over the years as I've struggled with my own bedtime demons.
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Although sleep is refreshing for my body, the prospect often causes my psyche much mental anguish. For many years I was plagued by the thought that I would die in my sleep. As a healthy adult, it's an ideal way to go out, but it's a haunting prospect as a child whose mind races the most when he is alone in his dark room. I've since curbed these fears, to an extent. The reality of human mortality haunts me from time to time, yet I accept it nonetheless, as we all must do eventually.
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Fear of death is a mental ailment, but sleep paralysis manifests itself in more physical ways. My bouts of sleep paralysis are among my most haunting personal experiences. Being fully aware of my surroundings, but unable to move, suffocated by the restraints of a semi-conscious brain... Wanting to scream for help, but my voice fails to produce but a whisper...
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In "Somniphobia," I tried to channel a feeling of suffocation. Fear is tangible, shown as the hands that grasp my neck through the shadows and force my eyes wide open. Neurotransmitters associated with sleep are flashed on screen, flowing out as the fear takes root. As the piece progresses, I regress. My form degrades slowly, until there is little left of me beyond scattered noise.
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